 Did you KNOW?By age 24, at least one in three sexually active people are estimated to have contracted an STI. (Kaiser Family Foundation, Sexually Transmitted Disease in the United States, Fact Sheet) |
 1.) Why do drugs and alcohol sometimes make people want to have sex?
Alcohol and other drugs make you lose your inhibitions (your self-control). If a person chooses to drink they are giving up their power of control to that substance. Do you really want to let a substance make your decisions for you? 2.) What if someone forced you to have sex? What do you do?
You need to get help. If someone forced you to have sex or have sexual contact you have been sexually assaulted and it should be reported. Take a supportive parent or friend with you. Don't shower or change your clothes. Call your support person right away and call the police or a rape hotline. The National Sexual Assault Hotline is 1-800-656-HOPE(4673). Remember that it is not your fault. If it has happened in the past and you haven't told anyone, tell someone now, even if it's months or years later. Talking about it starts the healing process and as with any wound it is important that it heal properly. Remember that you don't have to continue having sex just because you've been raped or assaulted. You can still choose to abstain from sex until you are married. 3.) Does having sex make you a man?
Being a man means having character and integrity. Being a man means respecting other people and their choices. Being a man means making healthy decisions for the now and for the future. NO, sex does not make you a man. 4.) Can you get pregnant the first time you have sex?
Yes!! 5.) Is there a problem with having multiple partners?
Besides the increased risk of STDs, emotional heartache is possible and can be very damaging. Most people know that any break up hurts but when sex is involved it is usually that much more difficult. Each time a person has another sexual partner they are putting themselves at risk to be hurt again. They can be affected either physically, through an STD or an unintended pregnancy, or through emotional heartache. Remember it is never too late to start over. If you have had multiple partners you can still decrease your risk by stopping your sexual activity and waiting until you are married to have sex again. 6.) I have had sex before and I don't like the choice I've already made. What do I do?
It is never too late to make a new decision. Forgive yourself and make a commitment to start over. Set physical boundaries and ask people in your life to support you in your decision. Be patient with yourself as you make these new boundaries. It takes time to learn new behaviors and new ways of dealing with sexual feelings. This may not be an easy decision but you will never regret the choice to start over. 7.) If I don't have sex with my boyfriend/girlfriend they will break up with me. What should I do?
If someone truly loves you, they will respect your values and your decisions. Be honest and clear about your feelings. Don't send mixed messages in order to hold onto the relationship. If the person breaks up with you because you say no, then they probably don't love you in the way you deserve. 8.) What if you turn down a girl physically, and she tells her friends and they make fun of you?
This may be tough, however, by choosing to stick to your boundaries you are respecting yourself and her even more. Tell your guy friends you are thinking about your future wife. If your future wife is dating someone right now and is doing sexual things, it might make you mad! So by sticking to your boundaries you're giving her the same respect now that you expect of her. 9.) How do I tell a guy "no" without making him mad or hurting his feelings?
It depends how well you know him. If you value his friendship, try this: (positive statement) I really like you, (the truth) but I feel uncomfortable going past (your boundary________), (suggest alternative activity) so how about going out for ice cream? If he responds positively, he respects you and your values. If he becomes angry or leaves he doesn't care for you, but really you've lost nothing! 10.) How do you say you don't want to do sexual things without them thinking you are chicken?
If you give in to this peer pressure, will they respect you more or less? Most likely, if you stick to your values, you will be respected (though you may not know it right away). 11.) My boyfriend says he really loves me and I really love him but I don't want to have sex and he does.
Ask yourself what true love is. Does love put another person at risk? If he really loves you he will do what is best for both of you in the long run, not just what feels good for the moment. Having sex puts you at risk for STD's, Unintended Pregnancy and Emotional heartache. Make it clear to him that you love him and that you want to show him love by waiting. Waiting teaches self-control, putting others first and goal setting. These qualities are all incredibly important in a relationship and will prepare you for your future marriage. 11.) How do you talk to your parents about sex
Tell them you have some questions about sex. You may feel embarrassed and uncomfortable. They may feel the same way. Have your questions written down in advance and be direct. Your parents will be more embarrassed than you, but you have their complete attention and they will respond to you. Here are some sample questions to get conversation going:
12.) How do you know when you are ready for sex?
The decision to become sexually active is probably one of the most life affecting decisions you will make. Make sure you understand all of the possible results of becoming sexually active (Pregnancy, Sexually Transmitted Diseases, Emotional Heartache, Future consequences, etc. ) You can ask yourself a few questions:
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